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Sunday, August 7, 2011

A Different Approach.....

Today we celebrate my daughter's 7th birthday, and my father's 70th. Her birthday isn't for another month, his, another week.


But there's a baby on board, and things are getting rearranged to accommodate this new arrival, due in just 4 weeks, give or take.


Part of preparing for this new little person to join us, well, in person, has been a significant amount of mental rearranging on my part. I'm not "all there yet," but moving in a good direction, I think.


This pregnancy has been very different than the first, but then my life is also very different, much fuller now, than before. My energy level is low, my body hurts, often. The baby, growing just fine, the mama, dragging along through the process with as much grace as possible. And, that, it seems, is the key. Moving through life with grace.


I've begun to think my real goal in life is just to move through each day, with as much grace as possible, despite whatever circumstances surround me. I've tried it the other, trying to make the circumstances okay, but that doesn't always happen. Working to be okay in spite of the circumstances is not always a simple task, and I don't always make it, but I have a much better shot at this, than at trying to control through whatever means, what is happening around me.


I cannot seem to control my fatigue with this pregnancy...resting more certainly helps, but doesn't seem to alleviate it significantly...I can currently fall asleep sitting up, in most locations, with very little notice. I can't control the fact that my mom is working through breast cancer, but I sure can be grateful that the treatments seem to be working.  I can't help that a good friend lost her mother this week, however the timely, and that I'm far away and cannot offer much comfort. But, I can offer what comfort I can and pray that some peace is offered there too. And be slow enough to breath through it all and be grateful, and learn to just be.


Today we're hosting an event for these birthdays, and inviting guests into our home. I love to host a good party...love to cook, love to invite people into our home. I also love to make everything from scratch and have everything ready well in advance....haha! Not this time!


In seven years, it's never rained for Helena's party. This year it looks likely...one would think August would be a better bet for weather than September, and it's been a hotter, drier summer than average. Today it's going to rain, in all likelihood. Gone are the plans for the water balloons, the wading pool, and the sprinkler...in with the new ones...dance party, indoor crafts and games...


I bought food I could make myself, because I just can't this year. The house isn't as tidy as I'd like it to be...the guest list...somewhat incomplete as I barely got invites out on time, and missed some altogether. 


The handmade favors still need finishing....





The gorgeous CSA flowers need arranging.......


The cake needs frosting and decorating.....



 The cheesecake (for dad!), despite cooling in the oven slowly...cracked...a lot!



There's still much to be done today before guests arrive. Once upon a time I would have been up at dawn (I am, but not because I chose it today), dashing around frantically and getting "it all done." Not today. Today I chose to sip my tea, and sit and reflect on how I'd like to remember this day....


I'd like to remember the smiles, the people who came, just the right mix, somehow, and just enjoy them all.


I'll let you know how it goes...