Yes, the school year. My daughter, nearly 6, will be attending first grade in just a few short weeks. Ah, me...
Still such a strange thing for me, to have a daughter in school. I, who had nearly always been homeschooled myself, and always thought I would home school my children. But she had different ideas. More about that here.
She loved her 4 weeks in school, for the most part, bounced out of bed each morning ready to greet the day, and came skipping down the hall to me at pick-up time. That should be enough for me, and for the most part, it is, for now. That she likes it, seems to be thriving in her school environment, and is eager to return.
But I have questions, niggling thoughts, although I'm really trying to let them go. The public school environment seems uninspiring to me, although I suppose it doesn't have to be, and I'm pondering that as well.
I had a interesting and lovely conversation with my little sister, homeschooled also, but 18 years my junior and just now coming into adulthood. I mentioned the recent thought I'd had about how growing up in our family was deceptively open-minded. In other words, many, unique and unconventional lifestyle choices were openly accepted, but conventionality not so much.
So, as I sit with this, I'm faced with that modeling. That I was taught a lot about what was good, and it was all fairly off-beat...so maybe not such an open minded approach to life, and that, in and of itself, is contrary to what I want to teach my daughter.
Ultimately, I don't know where this all leads, and therein lies the rub. I'm a planner, you know, and I prefer it life that way. Not that I really still suffer under the illusion that one can plan a life, but, still, there's some comfort for me in that. But then I have to laugh at the irony in this. After all, this idea that I would be a mother, and would home school my children, was a huge factor in much of my decision making for my adult life. I admit to being at a bit of a loss. But all of this will work itself out for me in time, I'm sure.
In the meantime, we had fun today shopping for her list of school supplies, and I am, with more and more anticipation than trepidation, enjoying this unexpected path that life is taking us on.